British oil company BP was claiming a major victory last night in its ongoing battle to plug the leak of unauthorised photographs that have been polluting the internet. Since a tiny oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico on April 20, thousands of photographs have been spewing into cyberspace creating a toxic atmosphere that has alarmed BP investors and led to a crash in the company’s share price.

Now, in an unprecedented move, BP has Photoshopped the entire Gulf of Mexico in attempt to allay fears raised by the continuing image spillage. Rollover the image above to see the before and after results of the BP operation.

Several previous attempts by BP to alter images relating to the Deepwater Horizon incident have backfired. One photograph purporting to show BP emergency staff at work in the oil spill command centre was later revealed to be the home cinema hall on soon to be ex-CEO Tony Hayward’s private yacht. Another of a helicopter proved to be of a toy widely available in children’s stores. And the metadata embedded in one image showed the original to have been taken in 2001, leading to speculation that either BP doesn’t know what day it is, or that the oil leak has actually been going on for some 9 years.

Announcing the new strategy a BP spokesman said: “Capping this leak of unauthorised images has been our priority from day one. Frankly it’s impossible to deal with the secondary issue of leaking oil so long as a stream of uncontrolled imagery is polluting the internet and causing widespread damage to the business ecology from which our profits flow. With our security teams in place to prevent the production of new unauthorised images and our own picture staff removing any evidence of oil production in the Gulf of Mexico we may just have turned the corner.”

BP was quick to reject accusations of tampering with the truth over the new strategy. “We’ve done everything we can to prove we’re incapable of cleaning up the mess we’ve created, so it makes sense to deal with perception instead of reality. Most people wouldn’t even be aware of the Deepwater Horizon trickle unless they lived in the affected area, turned on their taps and received 95 octane instead of fresh water for their morning coffee. That’s a tiny minority: we owe it to the rest of the world to set their minds at rest, and this is the best way of doing that.”

Imaging specialists expressed surprise at BP’s newfound Photoshop skills until it was revealed that the company had received assistance from Adobe, creators of the image editing programme. “As we’ve seen, the standard version of Photoshop is too difficult for BP staff to use, and Adobe were happy to produce a modified version with a new Slick Dispersal Plugin more suited to their purposes and skill levels.”

Initial reaction from oil industry insiders to the BP operation has been enthusiastic. “This is exactly the kind of bold strategy BP should have embarked on from the start. Their previous cut and paste attempts have simply been tinkering around the edges of the problem: now they have control of the big picture, which is what matters.”

Others, however, urged caution. “There’s a giant slick of thousands of pictures already out there, cached in Google and leaking through Facebook and the like: it’s going to take years to clean this mess up.”

Bookmark and Share

7 Responses to “BP Plugs Leak, Photoshops Entire Gulf Coast”

  1. Si Barber Si Barber says:

    Cracking stuff!

  2. John Chapman John Chapman says:

    LOL well done Jeremy!

  3. […] Maybe. David White, photographer posted this on July 26th, 2010 According to a reliable sauce ( Nicholl hot ‘n’ spicy lipburner ) BP have cleaned up the Gulf of […]

  4. Jon Stroud Jon Stroud says:

    you’re a bad, bad man Jeremy ;o)

  5. … pmsl … (!!!) …

  6. […] If you’ve not already seen it there is a great piece on The Russian Photos Blog today, BP Plugs Leak, Photoshops Entire Gulf Coast. […]

  7. […] Winston Churchill’s Britain At War Experience for Stubbed Out. Highly Commended: BP for BP Plugs Leak, Photoshops Entire Gulf Coast. Winner: Al-Ahram for Best Foot Forward. The judges’ verdict: Photoshopping is now so commonplace […]

Leave a reply: usual Marquess of Queensberry rules apply.

(required)

(required: will not be published)

What I’m thinking…

    Translate this Page